I surrender, cuz I’m exhausted

The Mind: a beautiful servant, a dangerous master.” Osho

Do you suffer from never-ending thoughts in your head? Mine rarely shuts up, always imagining new ideas, scary scenarios, goals, things to do “I like this, I don’t like that”…it has a serious case of ADHD! Even after a decade of soul therapy— uprooting my beliefs, and vigilantly attempting to cleanse my life— I still wake up some days, utterly depressed, and think “OMG, I’m still confused. Wtf, what now?!!” Yup it’s pretty scary when your tantrum throwing brain ALWAYS finds something to complain about. So, I’m throwing in the towel. I Surrender. The only real safe place left in this world is to anchor into the present moment.

By surrendering I was allowing my life to be guided by a much more powerful force, Life itself. After all, the universe has been around for 13.8 billion years, and the processes that determine the flow of life around us did not begin when we were born, nor will they end when we die. What manifests in front of us at any given moment is actually something truly extraordinary—it is the end result of all the forces that have been interacting together for billions of years” ~ Michael A. Singer

While we float like a piece of dust in the void of outer-space, our even tinier monkey mind swings from thought to thought, and there’s hardly a moment where we find ourselves free—in absolute peace and stillness. The mind is obsessed with to-do lists. Therefore, we’re never truly in the moment, because we think we feel so much more valuable when we’re productive and in constant motion. “Doing nothing is boring, lazy and degenerative! We must constantly DO better, be better, want more, more more…” says the brain, and the moment we cross something off our list, off to the next! I’ll confess, I too get a rush when I ‘get things done’, but at the expense of what, burn-out?! And when will I be satisfied, because there doesn’t seem to be an end to this madness. When can we create more breathing space to appreciate things just as they are, without this incessant need to change it? What about gratitude, and do we only feel truly present when we’re doing wild things like buying a new house, or jumping out of a plane, or climbing Mount Everest?! We need something a bit more accessible to ground us to this earth!

Okay, now doing ‘nothing’ isn’t really what you might be thinking, it’s not all about OMing and blissing out, it’s more about using your time more efficiently. Like a ‘productive nothing’. As you may, or may not, have noticed, time is moving quicker than ever before; like the rapids of a wild river. Resisting the flow will get us hurt, you’ll drift off where you shouldn’t be, or even worse get thrashed along the sides of the sharp rocks. The only way threw it is to surrender and let it take you! Where will it take you? Well that’s to be discovered, but it sure beats getting knocked upside your head. In the meantime, this is where trust comes in, and perhaps a little faith won’t hurt too, essentially it’s a time to get less busy and quiet things down (that includes watching tv, playing on your phone and perhaps even reading!) and just BE with YOURSELF—in nature, on a cushion, yoga— I REPEAT: Unloading your brain is ALWAYS a good thing. But go ahead and google it for yourself—recent studies, at even Harvard, about the practice of quieting the mind.

As I approach 40, I FEEL time/Life on a whole new level, she whispers “Your time is precious my friend, use it wisely. Come align with me!” I will admit that a part of me is scared as hell, this is total new territory to let go of my ‘personal preferences’ and let ‘Life’ call the shots! Ironically, after all this internal boot camp, it seems I’m just getting started, that everything I’ve learned in life has lead me to this point when I truly became serious about letting go of CONTROL!!

So here’s my pledge: On the top of my crazy-ass to-do list is:
MEDITATE. Get back to breath.

And Survive, NAH—It’s time to THRIVE!!! I’m actually pretty excited about this new adventure to co-create with the forces of the universe. LOL…YES, Bring it on, just tell me what to do!

PS…What’s on the very top of your list? Ask yourself “If I were dying, would this even matter?” I would love to hear your thoughts;)

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